theCompany

From: The Board of Directors
To: All Employees
Subject: The Company Picnic and Guac/Off – Monday, May 30th

What a spring! The Company is very pleased with the marked success of our Weather Control division. In celebration of their efforts, and in continued support of your physical and mental well-being, The Company will once again host a mandatory picnic meeting on Monday, May 30th from noon until dark. The meeting will, as always, be held in the Prospect Park conference and recreation facility.

This meeting, will focus exclusively on the business of recreation. Growth in our Memorial and Recreational products division continues in this unprecedented economic expansion. We will again be testing kickballs, frisbees, footballs, and footbags (“Hackey Sacks”). Please dress appropriately. We continue to look for leadership in the Four Square arena, and will liberally promote those willing to take charge.

We officially mark the start of a new Memorial Day tradition, and we again welcome our Co-Heads of Avocado Innovations, Kate Spencer and Oscar Magallanes, in hosting the Second Annual Memorial Day Guac/Off. If you would like to participate in the contest, please bring Guacamole and be prepared to eat it. The best guacamole will win a promotion and a coveted “Most Delicious Guacamole” badge that you will be allowed to display for one year in any forum you may so choose.

The Board of Directors has generously authorized the purchase of hot dog, buns, fixins, and non-food items (cups, plates, trashbags, etc.) Employees are asked to supply chips, sodas, meats, or desert. That said, let us never forget the chip debacle of 2008, in which employee chip purchases single-handedly insulated the chip industry from the economic downturn.

We need not remind you that the few employees who failed to attend last year’s picnic were summarily fired.

Directions: Take the F train to 7th Ave – exit at the front of the train on 8th ave. walk up the hill on 9th to Prospect Park. The Bandshell is right there on your right. we’ll be on the other side of the bandshell. if you get lost, make sure you’re on Prospect Park West.